I once tried to apply the Buddhist 80% edict not just to eating but to everything—sleeping 6.4 hours instead of eight, not quite finishing a beer. Like that. Worked great for things I didn’t like anyway—driving, shopping, TV. Ran into trouble with breathing and also bathing. Big problem with work, of course: 80% effort equaled 20% less pay, which may have forced me to be more Buddha-like, but the global consequences became obvious, starting with my wife who had to endure 20% less listening to her, 20% less eating out, plus my 20% more smell. The whole premise began to collapse like a poorly timed soufflé. If I continued to consume less soufflé, for example, how would I know it wouldn’t just lead to more for those who didn’t need it, to a perversion of the less is more philosophy, more or less. Grungy, exhausted, conflicted and hungry, I soon ignored the edict and adopted a new expansive protocol of 110%, concluding that Buddha was not of this earth, that is, unless he was pulling a fast one, since, when you think of it, Buddha is laughing at us 50% of the time and always looks to me to be at least 30% overweight.

Bio: Jack Cooper